Am I the one whom care too much or they are the one whom doesnt care about me. 

Hey whatsup, tiring week i had. Have been working full shifts cuz i needa extra cash. And more school will be starting real soon. That means more clothing i need.

However im trying to take care of my health. My energy level have gone way down. Easily got sick especially migraine.  Sometimes these migraines lead to nose bleedin.. Sigh! 

Problems after problems. We just cant run away, but as im getting older, i find myself tired of fighting and arguing on small things. Why bother about the bad side when you can make it out to the good side. Right? Let Allah show the way. Insyaallah things goes well.. When people hates me.. I always remind myself that, I only need Allah and my family to love me. 

Im learning to love and care for myself first . Rather than caring too much on others feelings when me myself dont care for myself. Yeah i do care for them but not to the exceed. It all depends you see... The reason why I changed was because, i find that i care way too much that people ditch about me and dont really care about me. Well i make mistakes too. Haha.. 

My boyfriend. Yea, he's the one who cares for me but he dont show it. I know , cuz i felt it. As long as he tried.. I will too. 😌 Im starting to miss him even though he makes me feel like smashing him .. Hurhur🙊

Alrights! I got to get my medications. Toodles! 💋

"Once I care about you, i will never stop." 

Had a movie date yesterday. The Conjuring. As usual, boyfriend said its not scary. When i actually screamed in the cinema. Hahaha! However, i felt a bit relieve. What i had to say, i just did. But the results of what i said.. I dont know. Somehow i felt like its nothing ? Ok cut it off. I'll leave it to Him .

So my Step Grandmother and my Brother Hendra was admitted in the hospital. May both of you be fine and well soon insyaallah. Me myself isnt being that well these days. Have been coughing blood. Ewwness. It should be the cause of heaty huh. 

Anyway my week was good ! It feels awesome to work with lovable people. I should have joined FNC like forever seh. I know i cant and i wont be staying with FNC till death, but it hurts to leave them one day. Hais! I hope everyone will gather at the staff party next month. Cuz it will def be my last staff party before i get a full time job. Pfft... 

Bad dreams totally sucks. It's been haunting me day and night. I overthink things that dont happen and felt like it will 

Ya allah, guide me through it all insyaallah. 😭 I love him with all my heart. 

Everytime after prayers, i seek for Allah and said " Ya Allah, never let him love someone else and never let me fall for someone else. Cause he's near to perfect for me. Insyaallah😔" Amin. 

 After reading those, somehow its like a karma is hitting you. Maybe you should reflect why.. Every single words you said, isnt that supposed to be my words long ago.Come on, you can make this right when you make me go wrong always. Im not gonna blame or hate you. Cuz i know Allah made better plans for me. Just that, i hope you wont make the same mistakes to the others. You see, whenever i think of you, its not the past that scares me, but your attitude totally freaks me and never want you in life again. Well, i pray that you found a better life and may Allah guide you to the right path.

Seriously, i dont regret on the things that once made me smile. But im just afraid if histories might repeat. And now, i am more than thankful that Allah sends a wonderful person in my life and that is Isz'zuan. Though love sometimes hurt, you still put me first. I dont wanna hurt others like how i got hurt.. 

And hey, you dont only hurt me, in fact you bring the worst for me. Even if i forgave you long ago, dont you think its as easy as ABC to forget every single thing . You make me fall into depression, illness. I know i shouldnt say this cuz its Allah business. Maybe its good if you stay away from me and my life. As im so happy with my life now... 

Yaa, I always miss this man. Then why? Haha! 

Hola. Currently baking cookies. Raya coming what. But im not excited, you know why? Cause no more collections . Hais haha! Kidding. Just that i feel good in ramadhan. 

However, feelings isnt being too good to me. Uneasy feelings always strikes. Bad imaginations.. Overthinking. Oh dear, when will it ends? I pray that things gets better and fine. Insyaallah. 

Low blood pressure have been attacking me these days. But i take it easy so i dont hafta waste money on medications again and again. 

I miss the boy too much. I wanna go out spending my fee hours with him 😔 yeah.. Please meet soon will you honey? 

Okay Happy August guys! 👍